i finally discovered that someone could be so evil all da time. he is not even deserved to have a friend like me.

i never seek someone like you. ive just met u coincidentally. thank God. i really thank God. on the road we walk past every day.

sorry.

when i looked into ur eyes, i saw u strugglin' so hard. but i remained insane. i did not think thoroughly wat i intended to do. i was lost. but wat u chose must have ur reasons. i dunno love. i should be taught. anyway, if u dun wanna listen, i wont say a word to bother u. at least, i know wat's respect.

its fine to know sb does not luv u n so rejects u. however, its bitter to feel sb loves u but tryin' to reject u...... but u must have ur reasons. i cant be ur girl. i am not deserved. but i believe in you. i just believe in you. anyway, i believe in you. you are da real one to make good things 4 me. u've taught me alot. real taste.

感謝 pc 及 eh 讓我知道甚麼是愛。

雖說一切不過老生常談，但回頭一看，的確是浪費了。還有一年，我還要 retake 幾多科？雖然自己沒有智慧，但我可以做好一點的。連自己都做不好，又憑甚麼講其他的事情。連對自己也不負責任，我又怎能讓你相信我有責任心。沒有責任感，又怎能衍生安全感？如果結局只能如此，是我的錯，真的，我終於知道，是我自己作的錯。錯失，做錯了，便失去。即使只能如此，亦感謝你跟我擦身而過。跟你一起，我真的真的很快樂。真的感覺。真的。

他說沒有人喜歡這樣，不要逼迫，不要。我錯了。何必？這是自私的。然而，是因為再見。我不想被誤解，我很想解釋，我很想坦誠相向。但，不是這樣的。他又說，改變的困惑。我知道，這是我的錯誤，其實我也很辛苦。對不起。

他說衝動的坦白不等於坦白。他說我完全沒有誠意。

我沒有資格，是真的，我有問題。

我忘記了對方擁有著怎樣的一顆心。

b 說過，runaway bride 的故事。早在幾年前。

即使我孤獨一世，也是活該的。

我們都在折磨自己。

bb 夭折了。

>in causewaybay
ikea is not a place for a single girl. its for couples who possess luv and warmth. they bought a lot. they wanna a new chair but in vain. i took the pan. he took cusions. she took his hand.
wat a lovely picture in causewaybay.

>in western
茶餐廳 is not a place for girls. we watched football game. arsenal vs southampton. i love seeing pires. he reminded me of someone else. suddenly, theres coldness. thunder and rains, he took us umbrellas and his clothes.

>at their home
i was a guest. i love 貓貓. shes been getting very thin these days. i think she quite accepts me. she jumped onto my knees. shes like her male master. really. very upset in his eyesight. i dun like cutiness. i love coldness and sorrow instead. 當貓貓被我的手摩擦下巴至頸項的地方，她真的很陶醉。

female master was doin' her clean-up stuff in da kitchen. the rest of us were really very tired. its nearly 1:20 a.m.

we watched "marnie" 2gether. with 貓貓 too. 我很歎，整個人坐得像睡一樣，很隨便。我們吃好好味的旺旺燒米餅。我喝了一大口她用鹽沖的咖啡。她失笑自己的傻。（他們真好。我好開心。）

我很喜歡 marnie。一個人的心理到底有甚麼問題？其中一段是她與辛康納利玩關聯感應……我喜歡這種從一個詞語不著邊際聯想的遊戲。u r freud. i am jane. 自由。自在。黑暗中，貓貓突然顯示她綠色的眼睛。很漂亮，我說。他們卻說，很邪惡。

its getting nearly 4am.

i did not phone home. i need some kind of "freedom" and being irresponsible.

i slept in the strange bed. when i closed my eyes, your face was instantly in my mind. i felt regretted. but i realized i had my own problems. i couldnt be ur girl. wing, u just wish him come across da real one. he's too good. he's so beautiful in his eyes. his heart is so deep. do i ever have? no, ur a fake person. u r no good in every aspects. you should admit it.

i slept till half past two afternoon. i did not work though i saw how many people want to get one, including her. i might be fired... sign, being irresponsible again......

byebye 貓貓. ur the only one whom i can be patient to ...... i luv u.

we had our lunch in western. we talked a lot. yup, these r my problems. i wanna cry. how come i commit these sins all the time. im afraid of being myself... for the one who is irresponsible most, the one needs security most. quite contradictory. but its true.

seeing touch of evil... da emotions r so fake... i dunno lei, am i qualified to make a judgement? anyway, i luv library. its a real good place.

its good to see so many ppl loving u. u need luv.

chi said she saw u last nite under the bad weather. wat da rainfall. da sky is crying in da night. in fact, i forgot to ask her if u brought an umbrella or not. ur right. im getting bigger. roads should be walked on my own......

im now feeling calm coz i know i dunno luv. and i needa concentrate on wat i know how to do. to make myself good and responsible.

hope u find the right one. u make me know how holy n sincere a wonderful guy can be. at first, theres no luv inside my room. now i can taste it though u gonna leave. but w/ ur luv n care once, i can walk alongside by myself. theyll accompany w/ me all the me. hope u also feel courageous to do wat u wanna do. thank you. wonderful man. ur so beautiful.