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* 我愚

>>>Tuesday, May 01, 2007

是因為你熬過苦嗎?記得你說,你不大相信宿命之說法。只是一直走運的我,就很相信蘇民峰,對於他的預言,儘管照單全收。終於找到了力量,或者覓得藉口,去做想做的事。猶豫是因為缺乏信心,又太計較結果,害怕付出了卻得不到回報。但誰讓我相信,播了種就會開花結果?是太習慣事半功倍,甚至不勞而獲,於是不肯接受,我付出種種,仍得不到眷顧。愛情的弔詭,是讓我們真切地了解自己。我很自私。

恍惚之間,只懂找朋友寄托。到了 euro-go-go,兩個人共點兩意粉兩小食兩飲品。吃得猶如報復,其實食不知其味。一味問典解。不住發問而缺乏思考,像個孩子一樣胡亂撒野,也許我只想找個容身之處,把話語及情緒一一發洩。她的當頭棒沒有敲醒我,厚牆卻叫為我好的人卻步。也許她說得對,痛苦只源於別人不聽從我擺佈。只是權力的拉鋸,而無關愛。都說,我很自私。

:: posted by my lock, 12:08 AM